Like his sister, Jamie had always been quite a heavy sleeper. Not as heavy as his sister, but still heavy enough to sleep through his alarm every now and then. Probably a lot more often than his mom would like, but Jamie couldn’t help that his dreams were exciting, and he just needed to know how they ended sometimes!
So why, he wondered, did Stoick’s snoring feel more like an earthquake than something that could possibly come out of a human being’s noseJamie woke with a start, looking around bewilderedly. He was lying on the fur by the hearth like Jack had four days earlier, except instead of being covered by multiple layers of blankets, Jamie was halfway covered in Hiccup’s old notes on dragons. Not that he could understand much – he’d only learned a few runes so far – but at least the drawings were nice.
It was hard to say how early it was, but Jamie didn’t doubt Stoick would wake up soon. He always woke up early to do whatever chiefs did. Jamie had tried asking him about it, but hearing about that wasn’t nearly as exciting as hearing about his Viking adventures. But right now, Stoick was snoring like a storm in the other room, and Jamie knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep anymore with that going on. So he got up.
Baby Tooth chirped softly, appearing from somewhere underneath the papers. She’d been sleeping a lot more after she and Jack came back, which was concerning to say the least. Jamie was pretty sure he’d never even seen her sleep before, and now… Well. At least she was awake during the day, and otherwise seemed to be acting the same… unlike Jack.
Jamie straightened his hair the best he could, flattening it at the back and brushing it out of his eyes. He waited to see if Baby Tooth would wake up, before quietly heading for the stairs to Hiccup’s bedroom. Where was Hiccup anywayHe wasn’t watching over Jack still, was heIt had been hours since Hiccup sent Jamie to bed.
Jamie stopped in his tracks at the top of the stairs. At first, he noticed Toothless, curled up on his slab by the window. And then… Oh… that’s where Hiccup was. Made sense… but also not at all. Hiccup had offered his bed to Jack, he wouldn’t have just climbed into it together with him like that. Not if Jack was still unconscious.
Which meant that Jack woken up sometime last night. That had to be it, rightStill, he was asleep again now, and Jamie wasn’t planning on waking either of them. Had it been only Jack, maybe, but the two of them togetherNo way. Jamie felt like this was probably not something he was even supposed to see.
So with light footsteps, he climbed down the stairs again, holding in his laughter until he was sitting by the heart again. He was so relieved, he felt like he might cry.
A moment too late, he realized the snoring had stopped.
“Ah, Jamie,” Stoick rumbled as he wobbled out of his bedroom, thankfully not noticing Jamie’s barely contained yelp. “Morning. Did you…” He trailed off, looking around. “Where’s Hiccup?”
“Uh. Watching… Watching Jack,” Jamie replied.
“Still?” Stoick looked up the stairs, as if he could see through the floorboards. “He’s not gonna wake up any faster by staring at him. I’ll tell him to get some-“
“I did, already,” Jamie said before he could stop himself. “He, um… he said he would be down soon. He’s slept a little bit also.”
That was a long lie, but Stoick seemed to buy it. He nodded and headed for the door.
“Right. I’ll go, then. And Jamie-“ Stoick turned around, and the wrinkles around his eyes loosened up a little. “I’m sure he’ll wake up soon. If nothing else, he is resilient.”
Jamie smiled brightly. “I know,” he said, making Stoick raise a brow at his sudden optimism. Not that Jamie hadn’t been optimistic the entire time, but probably not in such a spirited way.
Stoick held his gaze a few seconds more, before he chuckled quietly and exited the house. Jamie waited for a few seconds, before he let his gaze wander up to the second floor again. He shook his head. No, he’d let them sleep. In fact, he probably wouldn’t mention this to them at all.
Now he’d just have to wait. He started looking over Hiccup’s notes again, sure that he couldn’t possibly fall back asleep now. But as the song of early birds filtered into the house and Baby Tooth tweeted softly in her sleep along with them, Jamie felt his eyelids become heavy again. He fell back asleep, drooling a little on an early design sheet of Toothless’ saddle.
He woke because someone was brushing their fingers through his hair. Jamie grunted softly.
“’S not even a school day, mom,” he mumbled.
The following chuckle did not belong to Joyce. “I guess that’s at least one thing to be happy about.”
Jamie whirled up into a sitting position. “Jack!” he cried, before throwing his arms around him.
Jack laughed, even as he fell backwards, his staff clattering to the floor. Behind him, Hiccup beamed tiredly, leaning on Toothless. Baby Tooth chirped to life from beneath the papers and flew a few happy laps around Jack’s head.
“Hey, Jamie,” Jack said, then nodded and smiled discreetly at Baby Tooth as a greeting, due to Hiccup watching them. His voice was all scratchy, and when Jamie leaned back, he saw that the mark on his face was still there. The bags under his eyes were much darker than usual, and his cheeks seemed hollower. He still didn’t look like himself, Jamie thought. But he smiled like himself, and his eyes still gleamed when he met Jamie’s eyes. “Sorry for worrying you.”
Jamie opened his mouth to say that it was okay, but he wasn’t sure if he could. Not until Jack explained what had happened. Jack seemed to understand that before Jamie had even tried to explain it, because his smile faltered a little and he let out a shaky sigh.
“I’ll tell you,” he said softly in English. He hesitated. “But… I… It’s not good news, Jamie.”
Jamie felt his own smile fade. He looked down at the fern marks on Jack’s cheek. “She… She’s real,” he said.
Jack nodded, expression grim.
“Brant and the others were right,” he continued. “A- And Tuffnut.”
Hiccup furrowed his brows in the background. “Tuffnut what?”
Jack pursed his lips, then turned around to face Hiccup. “Can I speak to Jamie alone?” he asked.
Hiccup looked a bit surprised at this, but he was quick to comply. “Of course. Um, if you go upstairs I can prepare some breakfast for us,” he said. He started to turn around, but stopped halfway, giving Jack an apologetic look. “Also, Gothi’s been leaving soup for you in case you woke up. I didn’t want to bother you with it last n- I mean…” He glanced briefly at Jamie, and Jamie pretended to be completely oblivious.
“I’m sure I’ll survive it,” Jack said with a hoarse laugh. “Thanks, Hiccup.”
Hiccup sent him one last smile before Jack turned back to Jamie and they got to their feet.
Up in Hiccup’s bedroom, Jack sat down on the bed with a heavy sigh. Still, he smiled lightly at Jamie and patted the spot next to him. Jamie sat down, while Baby Tooth settled on Jamie’s shoulder.
“She hurt you,” Jamie said before Jack could start.
Jack looked like he’d just swallowed a mouthful of Gothi’s soup. His eyes flickered away and he nodded. “Yeah.”
It was harder to hear the confirmation than Jamie thought it would be. He struggled finding his voice again. “Why?”
“She’s not…” Jack started, but it was clear he was struggling to keep track of his own voice as well. “She’s not what we hoped she was, Jamie. She’s more like… like you said. The Berkians, the stories they tell about her, they’re all true. I was hoping it would be more like- well, like me.” The bags under his eyes seemed to grow heavier. “Not every story about Jack Frost is a nice one. I wanted…” He trailed off, letting out a quiet sigh.
“Anyway, she… tricked me,” he continued, saying it as if it hurt to admit. Coming from an infamous trickster, it probably did. “I followed her into the woods where she revealed that being believed in, and being seen and… and all that, it’s not something she’s interested in. She’s like Pitch, but even more apathetic.” He raised a hand and brushed his fingers lightly over the fern pattern on his face. “She felt threatened. That’s why.”
“Threatened?” Jamie repeated with a frown. “What did you say to her?”
Jack swallowed. “Probably too much.”
Jamie was tempted to say it wouldn’t be the first time, but he doubted Jack would take that well right now.
With a shaky exhale, Jack leaned past Jamie and propped his staff against the wall, before pulling back and folding his hands. His lips were tightly shut and his brows were pointing upwards, deepening the lines around his eyes. Jamie guessed he was glad that Jack wasn’t attempting to hide away his worry for once, but couldn’t deny that it made his own chest feel awfully tight.
“I told her my name. Um, Jack Frost, that is. And I told her that I used to be a winter spirit… like her.” The last part came out softly, almost just a whisper. “And I told her about the time fragment, and that we’re from future. And I… sort of implied that she’s not around in… in the future.” He grimaced. “I didn’t think about it at the time, but she said she thought she was the only one. The only winter spirit, that is. And I said there are a few minor others, and obviously I’d never heard of the Snow Queen before…” He trailed off and closed his eyes, shaking his head. “I’m an idiot.”
“But you’re not a spirit anymore,” Jamie said. “Why would she feel threatened?”
“That’s where it gets really interesting,” Jack said, attempting a smile. “She said she felt something special about me. She mention the blizzard that we appeared in. It wasn’t her doing. We’ve been suspecting that it might’ve been my powers, so…” He inclined his head.
Jamie closed his hands into fists. “You might still have some powers left?” he asked.
Jack’s eyes glinted. “Maybe,” he said. His voice was soft, as if he was afraid that saying it out loud would undo it. He turned to Baby Tooth. “It wasn’t a dream, right?” he asked suddenly, before reaching into his boot. He rummaged around in there for a bit, ignoring Jamie’s confused expression, then brought out something – a pale blue crystal.
Baby Tooth’s eyes were wide. She chirped rapidly, fluttering in front of Jack’s face. Jack grinned slowly.
“What?” Jamie demanded. “What wasn’t a dreamWhat’s-“ And then he realized where he’d seen the crystal before. Suddenly, he got the urge to recoil, but he kept still. “Is that… th- the…” he stammered, trailing off when Jack nodded solemnly.
“While I waited to go look for the Snow Queen, I fell asleep for a bit,” Jack explained. “And I had a dream. At least, I thought it had to be a dream, even if it didn’t feel like one. I was at the North Pole and I talked with North. I picked up this-“ He held up the stone. “-and when I woke up, I had it in my hand. Baby Tooth was there too. Right, Baby Tooth?”
Baby Tooth nodded vigorously.
“But…” Jamie stared at the two of them. “You traveled back in timeOr… forward in time?”
“Yes! Or… I’m not sure what happened,” Jack said. He eyed the crystal with a puzzled frown. “While I was there, I… I was still human, but I was like a ghost. The Guardians could see me, but they couldn’t touch me. And I couldn’t touch anything, except this crystal.”
Baby Tooth chirped in agreement.
Jack turned to her. “When I woke up, you were gone,” he said. “I thought you’d gone looking for the Snow Queen or something. But when the Snow Queen…” His voice faltered and he shook his head. “What happened with you?”
When Baby Tooth replied, Jamie couldn’t do anything but watch. Jack’s eyes furrowed in concentration as he tried understanding her, only asking her to repeat herself a couple of times. Jamie still didn’t get how it was possible to understand her, but whatever it was she told him, it left Jack looking even more puzzled.
“Hiccup had…” he started softly, incredulously. He glanced at the stairs, before it looked like he had to force himself to turn his attention back to Jamie again. “Uh… Hiccup had a crystal like this one in his satchel hanging from Toothless’ saddle. That’s where I fell asleep. Baby Tooth went into the satchel for shelter, and when she spotted the crystal, felt pulled towards it…”
Jamie thought he knew what she meant. He’d felt the same the first time he’d seen the crystal in that cave.
“…and when she touched it, she blacked out. She appeared in the workshop like I had, but not at the same time. She flew to the Tooth Palace to talk to Tooth, before they were summoned back to the workshop by North, after I had appeared there.” He looked at Baby Tooth for confirmation before continuing. “She’s been… weaker after touching the crystal. It’s why she didn’t wake up when I tried calling for her, I think. When she woke up, I was already gone.” His frown deepened. “Do you think it sapped your powers?” he asked Baby Tooth.
Baby Tooth shrugged helplessly.
“That’s why you’ve been sleeping so much?” Jamie asked.
Baby Tooth looked a bit embarrassed. Maybe it wasn’t that normal for tooth fairies to sleep after all.
“Then you alerted Toothless,” Jack muttered. He looked down at his hands with a dark expression. “If you hadn’t…” The sentence faded into a shaky whisper and went quiet. He shook his head and put on a smile again. “Well, in the end… things didn’t go as well as I’d hoped, but at least I got to talk to the Guardians.”
Something about his smile seemed off, like talking to the Guardians hadn’t been as fun as it usually was. Jamie’s heart felt heavy, but he didn’t mention it and waited for him to continue.
“They said,” Jack said, slightly theatrically, “that Bunny’s power of the tunnels disappeared after the fight with the time fragment, but they came back. Which means that my powers might gradually come back. They haven’t yet, but we were… obviously a little closer to the thing than Bunny was. Maybe that’s what the Snow Queen felt.”
A smile was growing on Jamie’s face, yet he felt scared to be too hopeful. “What else did they say?” he asked. “Did they know a way to go back?”
Jack’s smile faded. “No,” he said softly. He hesitated. “They… they didn’t say much else. But, Jamie-“ He held up the crystal. “Baby Tooth found one piece in Hiccup’s satchel. She touched it, and it… triggered something. I think that’s what sent us to the future. And then I managed to bring this piece back to the past… It might be a lead.”
Baby Tooth flew closer to the stone. She looked warily at it, then up at Jack. Her chirp sounded like a question.
“Maybe magic activates its power or something,” Jack deduced. “Maybe if you touch it again, we go to the future, and… I don’t know. We could talk to them again.”
Jamie looked down at his hands at Jack’s hopeful voice. Sometimes it was too easy to forget that it wasn’t just Jamie who had someone he missed, but now the reminder felt like a knife, and the guilt of having forgotten about it even worse. A lump formed in his throat.
“But don’t touch it now,” Jack said, oblivious to Jamie’s internal struggle. He started moving the crystal away from Baby Tooth. “You’re still weak. If you- Baby Tooth!”
Too late. Baby Tooth had already dived for it, clamping her tiny hands around the crystal’s chipped edges.
Nothing happened.
“What?” Jack muttered. He looked worriedly at Baby Tooth. “Is it your powersAre they gone?”
Baby Tooth shook her head.
“No, you’re right… You wouldn’t have been able to fly, then.” Jack held the stone up to his eye, as if he was expecting to find instructions etched into it somewhere. “Then what?”
“Maybe you need the other crystal,” Jamie suggested.
“Hiccup must still have it… for some reason,” Jack said, sending the stairs another long look. “But why would he have itWhere did he get it?”
Jamie bit the inside of his cheek nervously. “You don’t think… he knows something, right?” he asked hesitantly. Not only did the possibility seem absurd, but Jamie had a feeling a revelation like that would hurt Jack, somehow.
“No,” Jack said, a little too quickly. “I mean, he can’t know… That’s impossible. He probably just found it by chance. Maybe he intends to give it away as a gift or something.” He pursed his lips. “Which he can’t. We have to steal it.”
Jamie raised a brow. “Steal it?”
Jack looked back at him, looking like he’d just realized that’s not something you should encourage an eleven-year-old to do. “Because it could be dangerous,” he said with a small laugh. “It’s for his own good. And for our own good. Hopefully.”
Jamie couldn’t help but think that it all sounded a bit dangerous, going searching for the crystal that had caused them all this trouble in the first place. He still had nightmares about seeing it in that cave for the first time.
“Just seeing them again…” Jack murmured. He was smiling softly, opening and closing his fist around the crystal. “It made me realize we’re never completely lost. Maybe that’s just the effect the Guardians have on people, but… despite everything that happened after, I feel hopeful.” He turned his gaze to Jamie, his smile brightening. “We’ll see them again, Jamie. I know we will.”
The lump in Jamie’s throat made a violent return. He should feel happy. This was good news. This was hope. But instead of returning Jack’s smile, Jamie felt his eyes begin to sting.
Jack’s smile faltered. “Hey,” he said, quickly putting the crystal away to reach out to him. He put a hand on his shoulder. “What’s wrong?”
It didn’t help at all. Tears started spilling down Jamie’s cheeks and a sob fought itself out of him.
“I…” he started, but his throat closed up. He bowed his head and leaned into Jack’s chest to hide his face. When Jack brought his arms around him, it only pulled more sobs out of him. It took a long time before he managed to get any words out, and when he did, it was with valiant effort. “I- I’m sorry,” he choked out.
Jack stroked his back. “Jamie, what’s wrong?” he asked again, voice softer now. He tried pulling back, probably to look at Jamie’s face, but Jamie only held onto him tighter. He felt so stupid, crying like a little kid. It didn’t matter that he was one; he didn’t want to cry in front of Jack.
“I m- miss them too,” he whispered, his breath shallow and uneven. “But you’re a Guardian. You’re Jack- You’re Jack Frost, and you- should be there with- with them, but you’re here instead, and you’re-“ He stopped talking in an attempt to choke back a sob – with little success.
Jack was quiet for a moment, like he was at a loss of words. “We’ll get back,” he soothed, bringing a hand up to Jamie’s hair. “This is good news, Jamie, we-“
“But it’s my fault,” Jamie cried, finally finding the courage to pull away and actually look at Jack. “And now we’re here, because I-“
“What?” Jack interrupted. His face was pale with worry, and even if it didn’t sound or look like he found this funny in any way, there was still a hint of incredulous laughter in his voice.
Jamie wasn’t surprised; of course he wouldn’t even think to blame Jamie. That was just how self-sacrificing Jack was. But Jamie knew it was wrong, and now it was all coming out, with sobs and tears and everything.
Jack just shook his head, a silent question in his gentle smile. “None of this is your fault, Jamie,” he said, and if Jamie didn’t imagine it, he sounded just a bit frantic. “How could it be your fault?”
“Because you…” Jamie started, but had to take a shaky breath first. It was hard to get it out. He’d hoped he’d never have to bring it up, even if it felt like lying to Jack – using his kindness to avoid admitting the role Jamie played in this whole mess. He swallowed heavily and averted his eyes. “…If you’d been okay when- when the time fragment attacked the workshop, maybe we could’ve gotten away. But you were sick. You s- said you were okay, but I saw that you weren’t. All because I a- asked you to stay and dared you to… to drink from the cup that I’d already-“
Jack’s hand covered Jamie’s hand, squeezing gently.
“I see,” he said. And then he did laugh; a soft, sad chuckle, as he brought his other hand to Jamie’s cheek, gingerly encouraging him to look up at him. Jamie let him, even if it was hard to meet his eyes. Jack looked intently back at him. “Jamie. That wasn’t you,” he told him.
Jamie didn’t believe him, which made him feel even more guilty when a part of him was relieved to even hear the words. When he didn’t say anything in reply, Jack let out a shaky breath and brought Jamie into another hug.
“Please don’t cry,” he said, again with that feeble chuckle. “I know how it looked, but you’ve misunderstood. It had nothing with you, or the teacup. It was something else.”
Somehow, this just roused more sobs from Jamie. He tried to come with an articulate reply but couldn’t think of anything. This reminded him of one of the very few times he’d seen his mom cry. She’d told him that sometimes, if you hold your feelings in for too long, they’ll eventually break out and then there will be no controlling it. Not that he ever doubted his mom’s wisdom, but he didn’t think he’d truly understood it, until this moment.
Hearing the way Jack’s voice turned hoarse and strained didn’t help. He continued stroking Jamie’s back, rocking them gently back and forth.
“It was… it was something called heat sprites,” Jack explained carefully. “Most of the time, they’re supposed to be in more tropical climates. It had been a while since I’d encountered them, because… well, I don’t usually have any business in tropical climates, do II mean, you saw how I reacted to the tea.”
The memory made a halfhearted laugh mix with Jamie’s sniffles, and he nodded. “Heat sprites?” he repeated weakly.
Jack hummed. “They’d somehow gotten lost and ended up in Iceland,” he said. “Don’t ask me how. Either way, it was my job to get rid of them. I overextended myself, and got… something like a cold, but more like the exact opposite.” He leaned back and looked seriously at Jamie. His expression was worried in a whole different way than Jamie had ever seen before, which only made Jamie’s lip quiver all over again. “How long have you thought this was your fault?”
“Since… Santa’s workshop,” Jamie mumbled. “You kept trying to seem fine when you weren’t.”
Jack let out a shaky breath, his eyes sliding shut for a moment. When he opened them again, he put on another smile. “It had nothing to do with you, dummy,” he said. “Honestly. You… You should’ve told me that you’ve been feeling this way for so long.”
Jamie looked away shamefully. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” Jack said. He hugged him again and even kissed his forehead. “You’ve been so brave, Jamie. But it’s okay to feel sad and scared.”
“I just wish we could go home,” Jamie whispered.
Jack went a bit quiet, but he squeezed him softly. “I know,” he replied, his voice barely audible. “And we will, soon.”
He leaned back, and Jamie reluctantly let go of his cloak. Things seemed a little less overwhelming when Jack held him like that.
Jack sent him a lopsided smile, and though it lacked any real happiness, it still seemed genuine somehow. “I promised, and I’ll keep that promise.”
Jamie tried to smile back. He nodded.
“And…” Jack hesitated before giving Jamie a serious look. “You don’t have to be scared to talk to me, okayIf you ever feel bad, for any reason…” He smiled again and gently wiped Jamie’s cheek. “You’re a big brother too, so you’re protective by nature. I get that. But… keeping it all in isn’t good.”
Jamie frowned, taking a moment to register what Jack had just said. You’re a big brother too, like Jack had a younger sibling. Maybe he meant Jamie, but something told him that wasn’t the case.
But that conversation could wait. Instead, Jamie mirrored Jack’s serious look and took a deep, determined breath.
“You shouldn’t hold stuff in either,” he told him. “If… If I’m not gonna hold stuff in, then you can’t either.”
Guilt passed over Jack’s expression. “Sounds fair,” he said with a halfhearted chuckle. Then he tousled Jamie’s hair, still with less vigor than usual, but it made Jamie feel better anyway. “Now. We have a lead, and we have breakfast waiting for us downstairs. Once we’ve eaten, we can try to get the other crystal, and then find a way to make it work again. Maybe if I-“
“Jack,” Jamie interrupted. He tried not thinking about how tearstained his face was, or that his eyes were probably bloodshot and watery; he furrowed his brows seriously. “I’m sorry, but you look like a corpse. I mean, it’s been a month already… we can wait for a few days before doing anything. You need to rest.”
Jack raised a brow. “Alright, doctor Bennett,” he said, poking Jamie’s side playfully. “Brutally honest, I hear. That’s good.”
Jamie laughed, pushing his hand away. “Shut up,” he said. “It’s just… You’ve been asleep for four days. I thought…” He hesitated, finding the words hard to get out. “I thought you might not ever wake up. I’m just glad that, you know… you did wake up.” He fidgeted with his hands. “You scared me. So at least wait until you’ve recovered before we do something that might be dangerous again.” He frowned, looking down at Baby Tooth, who had been watching them silently. “That goes for you too,” he told her.
Jack nodded. His brows were slightly furrowed, but he smiled when he met Jamie’s eyes again. “You’re right,” he said. “I’m sorry, Jamie.”
Jamie bit the inside of his cheek, because he still felt tears lurking just beneath the surface. It was embarrassing to cry like that. He only ever did that in front of his mom. But at the same time, he felt a little bit lighter now. He got to his feet and hugged Jack again, tightly around his shoulders.
“I love you, Jack,” he said decisively. “So be more careful from now on.”
Jack’s voice broke when he laughed, like he was surprised. And he probably was. Jamie was a little surprised by himself too. “I will,” he said, patting Jamie’s shoulder. He was smiling fondly when Jamie pulled back. His voice was soft when he replied, “…and I love you too.”
Jamie smiled but couldn’t help shifting his weight restlessly. It was a bit embarrassing, but whatever. It felt good to say. And good to hear – hopefully for the both of them. And hopefully it would stop Jack from doing dangerous things all the time.
“And- And you too, Baby Tooth,” he added quickly, because he didn’t want to exclude her. Baby Tooth replied with the noise that sounded kind of like a laugh.
And now he was really feeling the need to forget about this whole thing for a little bit, and just enjoy the fact that Jack was okay – at least almost okay. Like he’d just suggested, they didn’t need to think about difficult things for the next few days. Especially not the part about the Snow Queen.
In fact, even if Jack had just explained that his sickness had had nothing to do with Jamie, now he had a new thing to feel guilty about: Jack had gone to find the Snow Queen because Jamie had suggested it.
“Wanna go downstairs?” Jack asked, but Jamie understood that what he was actually asking was are you alright?
Jamie nodded, wiping the tears off his face. “Yeah. I’m starving.”
Jack was sitting like a blanket burrito by the hearth, recovering from Gothi’s wonder soup, when the whole dragon rider gang began appearing at the door. First came Astrid, who seemed grudgingly happy to see Jack awake. She assured him that she was still angry that he stuck onto their training drill, and that he was a nonsensical muttonhead for wandering into the woods by himself, and that he better recover quickly because she’d have him take a hundred pushups as punishment for it all.
Behind her, Hiccup smiled fondly, so Jack assumed this was just Astrid’s way of showing that she cared.
After that came Snotlout and Fishlegs, who had two very different ways of fretting over him. Of course, Snotlout only came for the gruesome details – that’s what he said, at least, but when Jack started explaining how spooky it had been back in the woods, he promptly stated he didn’t care. His complexion seemed considerably paler on his way out.
Fishlegs seemed more like a fretful mother. In fact, his form of caring was a bit overwhelming, and though Jack was flattered, his energy levels were betraying him. His head felt fuzzy and heavy, and he could never seem to get warm enough. Focusing became harder by the second. Thankfully, Hiccup seemed to notice what Fishlegs didn’t, because he promptly took on the role of a stern babysitter and told Jack to go to bed. Once Fishlegs was out, Hiccup sent Jack an amused smile.
“For someone who refers to himself as a menace, you’re not good at showing people out,” he commented.
“I consider myself… mischievous,” Jack said as he got to his feet, holding back a groan. “Not rude. What time is it?”
Hiccup shrugged. “About midday, I think. Or a little later.”
“That’s nothing,” Jack said miserably, but he was already making his way to the stairs, still with his blanket tightly wrapped around his shoulders. “I’ve been on my way to fall asleep since Snotlout left.”
“You’ve been comatose for four days,” Hiccup said, taking a few steps closer to him like he was afraid he’d suddenly collapse. “Do you know how many hours I spent in bed after we fought the Red Death?”
“The Red Death?” Jack repeated, sending him a curious look.
Hiccup blinked. “Oh, uh… I never told about that?”
Jack shook his head. “Pretty sure you didn’t,” he said, tilting his head thoughtfully to the side. “Probably something about… not trusting me with the information or something.”
“Ah, well,” Hiccup said, a smile making its way onto his face again. “What do you say to a bedtime story?”
Jack laughed softly. “How kind. Yes, I’d love that,” he said, and though he sounded sarcastic, the offer seemed a lot more appealing than it probably should. Thankfully, Jamie and Baby Tooth wasn’t here to witness this.
Jack sat down on the bed and propped himself against the wall, beside his staff. “You think your dad will approve of you telling me this?”
“My dad’s been bragging about all his great battles to Jamie for five days now,” Hiccup said. “He probably even told him about this one. Probably with a few… artistic alterations here and there, but still.”
“Where is Jamie?” Jack asked.
“Oh, he and his friends are playing with Toothless,” Hiccup said, smiling wryly. “That’ll exhaust him. Toothless, I mean – not Jamie. I wish I was as energetic as him.”
Jack raised a brow. “You’re not neglecting flying with Toothless again, are you?”
Hiccup sent Jack a slightly exasperated look. “I worry about you,” he said plainly, “and Toothless does as well. He knows why we’re not up there as much as usual right now. And besides, he’s…” He looked down, shaking his head. “He’s been acting a bit weird lately.”
A chill settled in Jack’s neck. His mind flashed the picture of Toothless standing between him and the Snow Queen. “Why?” he asked, bringing the blanket tighter around himself.
“Don’t know,” Hiccup said with a helpless shrug. “When Toothless… brought you to me on that island, it looked like… But I’m sure it was nothing.”
“Hiccup,” Jack said. “I can’t read your thoughts.”
“Sorry.” Hiccup folded his hands, sitting down at the edge of the bed. “I thought he seemed cold. But that’s impossible. Dragons don’t get cold. I mean, they breathe fire – how could they?”
Jack looked down at his hands, struggling to find an appropriate way to answer. He was about to ask Hiccup why he hadn’t said anything, but he thought he already knew. Because why would Hiccup bring it up, when Jack had reacted the way he did when asked about what happened on the islandAnd now, even if Jack did know that Toothless might’ve been hurt by the Snow Queen, what could he do about itIt wasn’t like he could talk to the dragon, ask what happened and expect an answer.
His heart felt heavy. Toothless had gotten hurt trying to protect him.
“I’m sure it’s fine,” Hiccup said, putting a hand on Jack’s knee. His expression was soft and knowing when Jack looked up at him. “If I had punished myself for every time Toothless has put himself in danger for my sake, there wouldn’t be much of me left.”
Jack managed a faint smile. “Was the Red Death one of those times?”
Hiccup held his gaze for a moment longer, before he let his hand fall and his eyes wander into the air. His prosthetic knocked gently against the floorboards. “I think I’ll have to start from the beginning,” he said. “The reason why the dragons attacked Berk in the first place.”
It sounded like the beginning of a long story, so Jack shifted and made himself more comfortable. “That’s… three, four years ago?” he guessed.
Hiccup raised a brow. “Yeah. Lots have happened since then, as you can see.”
“You lost a limb.”
“I’m getting to that part.”
Jack smiled fondly at him. “I’ll shut up.”
And Hiccup started from the beginning, from when he was a small, two-legged fifteen-year-old never-do-well, and Berk was at war with the dragons. He explained his plan of taking down a Night Fury which had actually worked, despite everything, but which had then gone in a very different direction than anyone had thought. He described what it had felt like, finding Toothless and realizing that he just couldn’t kill him. Then later, seeing the dragon was missing his tailfin, and coming to the decision that he was going to go against everything he’d been taught to get the dragon back to the skies.
Jack had sunk down into a horizontal position while Hiccup talked, his body begging for rest. Still, his head hadn’t gotten any more tired. In fact, he felt more energized than he had the entire day, watching Hiccup’s expressions and gestures as he reminisced about every feeling and sensation that had gone through his mind and body as he and Toothless found a friend in each other.
The story was coming to its climax as Hiccup recounted how he’d attempted to save a chained Toothless underwater, but that Stoick had been the one to actually free him. Jack knew the point he should be focusing on was the fact that Stoick had realized Hiccup had been right all along and that Toothless and the dragons weren’t the enemy, but he still couldn’t help but shift uncomfortably.
“You would’ve drowned trying to save him, hadn’t it been for Stoick,” Jack said, his voice just a whisper.
Hiccup nodded, looking down at his lap. “I think so,” he agreed. “I was already blacking out, when…” He trailed off, glancing at Jack. “Any- Anyway, the good part is what follows. Well, at least as a story to impress your friends with, it’s good. Can’t say it was that enjoyable in the moment.
“To be honest, I can only remember things in… parts. And they’re all pretty blurry. I just remember the energy, the- the rush… cold wind mixing with scorching heat. We got the Red Death into the air – it was a miracle that gigantic thing could fly – and it followed us into the clouds. Things almost seemed to go well, but then… Toothless’ tailfin burned away. We just needed a little more time, but at that point I felt…”
Hiccup trailed off for a moment, his gaze horribly distant.
“…I just hoped we’d be able to take it down before it was over for us. Maybe Toothless would survive the fall, but me…” He shook his head, giving a flat laugh. “No way. But just at the right moment, Toothless turned around and blasted the Red Death straight down its throat. And then… then…” Hiccup frowned, before giving Jack a slightly sheepish smile. “It gets very blurry after that.”
Jack looked back at him. A part of him wanted to come up with something lighthearted to say – something to ease that troubled look in Hiccup’s eyes – but he was too busy trying to imagine what it must’ve felt like. It was hard when his brain seemed to gradually be turning to goo.
“You must’ve been scared,” he said, then immediately felt stupid for saying it. Of course he had been scared; he’d been falling to his end after battling an enormous dragon called the Red Death.
Hiccup shrugged. “Must have,” he agreed. “Kinda hard to feel much of anything when so much is at stake. All you can feel is… the drive to see it through. Whatever it might be… Saving my family, saving the dragons… Nothing else mattered, in that moment.”
Jack knew exactly what Hiccup meant, but he kept quiet.
“Anyway…” Hiccup said, letting out a slightly shaky breath. “Next thing I knew, I was waking up at home. Toothless was there. Very unusual, but not unwelcome. I removed the covers, and…” He gestured at his prosthetic, smiling wryly. “Peg-leg.”
Out of everything, this was the only part where Hiccup didn’t seem to feel the need to dwell on the details. No descriptions of feelings or trains of thought. Clearly, Hiccup had found peace with the fact that he’d lost his leg, but now, after delving into the past, there was a wistful look in his expression.
Jack shakily sat up, feeling the need to be closer to Hiccup for some reason, despite his body protesting for him to remain still. “You were just a kid,” he said quietly.
“We all were. But we did it anyway, didn’t we?” He let his leg fall back onto the floor and smiled lopsidedly at Jack. “Just a bunch of barely-dragon riders, taking down the biggest threat Berk had ever seen. And now we live the way we do. I’d do it all again in a heartbeat.”
Their eyes remained interlocked for a few soundless seconds. Jack spent them wondering how Hiccup had turned out the way he was; how someone like him could come to exist in those circumstances. Often awkward and unassuming, a bit of a worrywart in Jack’s opinion, and yet he had stories like that to tell about his life. Jack had been around for more than 300 years; he’d observed many wonderful humans during that time. Somehow, they all seemed kind of so-so as he imagined little Hiccup risking the loss of all he knew in order to do the right thing, and he’d survived and grown into this responsible, selfless, brave chief-to-be.
Out of all the years in history, Jack had been lucky enough to end up in the years where Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III could sit by his bedside and tell him stories. Jack couldn’t help but smile at this fact.
Hiccup was the one to break eye contact when his irises flickered downwards, to the ice patterns on his cheek, Jack assumed. He was about to turn his head to block the view, but just then, Toothless jumped in through the window and gave a miserable yowl. Hiccup jumped at the sudden noise and got to his feet.
“Oh, gods- Toothless,” he muttered, bringing a hand to his heart. “A warning would be nice.”
Toothless grumbled and craned his neck towards the sky outside.
“He’s being quite clear,” Jack noted with an amused smile. “You should go.”
“Oh- Right. Jamie might be on his way back, then,” Hiccup said, shifting his weight restlessly. He hesitated, then pointed at Jack. “Why are you still awakeGo to sleep!”
Jack laughed and diligently lay down. “Will do, Your Highness,” he said. “Thanks for the bedtime story.”
Hiccup paused in the middle of climbing onto Toothless and smiled in an almost bashful way. “It was my pleasure,” he replied theatrically. “And don’t call me that.”
Jack hummed noncommittally, already closing his eyes. He heard Hiccup chuckle softly, followed by the sound of Toothless gracefully exiting the room and taking to the sky.
Jack’s smile faded slowly along with the sound of beating wings. He waited for the front door to open, wondering if he should try to stay awake until Jamie came back. He’d convinced him to go play with his friends and get his mind off everything. Jack would never say it out loud, but he couldn’t imagine that seeing Jack in the state that he was would do Jamie any good. And after that conversation…
Truth was, Jack had had to use every ounce of his will to not start crying as well. That wouldn’t have been very responsible of him; Jack had to be the emotionally stable one. The anchor, the shelter in the storm, whatever kind of metaphors you could use. At least make it seem like it. But he’d never seen Jamie like that before. Sure, he’d been on the brink of tears before, but nothing like that. Seeing it hurt more than whatever the Snow Queen had done to him. Thinking about it made his stomach tighten to the point he felt like he couldn’t breathe.
Jamie had felt guilty for something he hadn’t even done, and Jack had been none the wiser. It made him wonder what other things occupied Jamie’s mind that he didn’t speak about – and for what reasonBecause he didn’t want to put more pressure on JackBecause he didn’t want to seem weak?
Or because Jack wasn’t making a good example by hiding things as well?
Probably a mix between the three… and a bunch of other things that Jack couldn’t tell because he didn’t know Jamie as much as he should.
His depressing musings were rudely interrupted when something dropped onto the floorboards. He sat bolt upright, grabbing his staff and pointing it at-
“Woah, hey!” Tuffnut said, holding up his hands. “Don’t shoot, o mighty- Agh, my foot!” Ruffnut dropped in through the window as well, landing on Tuffnut’s, well, foot.
“Sorry,” Ruffnut said with a grin and without an ounce of guilt.
Jack lowered the staff. “You’re breaking in?” he asked incredulously. “Couldn’t you have just used the door?”
“We didn’t want to seem suspicious,” Ruffnut reasoned.
“Right,” Jack said. “Of course. So what brings you here, thenSomething suspicious, I’d guess?”
“Rich, coming from you,” Tuffnut said, shooing Belch away when he tried coming in through the window as well. Once the dragon took off, he turned to Jack and put his hands on his hips. “I believe you owe us an explanation.”
“Do I?” Jack asked, putting his staff away as an excuse to avert his eyes. “It’s not something you need to-“
“I seem to recall,” Ruffnut interrupted importantly as she came to stand by the foot of the bed, “that you said you owed us one for helping you get out of that, uh, tooth spectacle.” She looked around. “Where is the criminal, anyway?”
Jack pressed his lips together. “Baby Tooth isn’t here,” he said, “and she was only doing what she thought was right, so don’t call her that. Anyway, why do you think something like that happenedYou said you didn’t know what kind of dragons inhabited that island – maybe I just...”
He trailed off when the twins both raised a brow, sending the mark on Jack’s face pointed looks. Jack turned his head away, but not before giving them a glower.
“If something out of the ordinary happened, you have to share with the class,” Tuffnut said. “And by class, I mean Ruff and I. And by out of the ordinary, I mean magi-“
“Yes, I know what you mean,” Jack interrupted in a hiss, sending a nervous glance towards the staircase. “Lower your voices, at least. I…” He opened and closed his fists, slowly looking back to the twins. “…Something did happen.”
The twins looked surprised despite their previous show of confidence. They came to sit by the edge of the bed, looking at Jack expectantly, like it was his turn to tell a bedtime story. Jack held back the urge to roll his eyes. He wondered when he’d become so irritable but realized quickly that that was a part of him the twins just excelled at bringing out.
At the same time, he didn’t regret telling them the truth. They hadn’t been anything but helpful, if not just a little annoying, until now, and it was nice to have someone other than Jamie and Baby Tooth who knew everything.
“She’s real,” Jack said, looking down at his hands.
The twins exchanged wary looks. “Who is?” Ruffnut asked.
Jack wondered for a moment if it was wise to tell them. Belief would probably only make her stronger, and from what Jack saw, she was already quite strong enough. But the twins wouldn’t stop hounding him if he didn’t, so he steeled himself and met their quizzical gazes.
“The Snow Queen.”
Tuffnut straightened. “I knew it!” he started loudly, before Jack gestured at him to keep it down, and he froze. Not literally, but he might as well. He stared at Jack’s hands warily, as if he’d zapped him.
Jack sighed, letting his hands fall. “And you’re all right about her,” he mumbled. “I hoped… I hoped she was just misunderstood. But she’s not. She’s apathic and evil. And powerful.”
“She did that to you?” Ruffnut asked, nodding at Jack’s face.
Jack nodded, bringing a hand up to trace the patterns. He could barely feel it anymore, but where the fern patterns were, his skin was still considerably cold. “I told her everything,” he said, “and she didn’t take it well. She doesn’t… exist in the future. At least I’ve never heard of her. I think that insinuation scared her, so she tried to kill me. Get rid of the threat and all.”
“Threat?” Ruffnut repeated, catching on as easily as Jamie had. But instead of looking hopeful, her expression turned guarded. “How are you a threat?”
Jack looked between the two of them. If he didn’t know it already, this would’ve been definite proof that he and Pitch never could have worked together. He didn’t want to be feared, but it seemed Ruffnut and Tuffnut had already decided what they thought of winter spirits. And after meeting their only experience with winter spirits, Jack couldn’t blame them.
“I’m not sure,” he mumbled, looking down.
The twins were awfully quiet, so Jack tried brightening up.
“Anyway,” he said. “It’s not all bad. I might be one step closer to finding a way to go home. Something strange happened while I slept at that hilltop…”
He explained to them the dream that wasn’t a dream, how he’d woken up with the crystal, and how they’d tried to make it work, without success.
“Strange thing is,” he said. “Baby Tooth said the other crystal was in Hiccup’s satchel, but when I looked for it earlier, it was gone.”
“You were snooping in Hiccup’s satchel?” Ruffnut asked with a raised brow.
“It’s not something I would’ve done for no reason,” Jack argued. “But that crystal might be dangerous. And it might also be the key to getting us out of here. I’m scared that Hiccup…” He trailed off, looking away again. “…I don’t want Hiccup to get involved in this. I need that crystal.”
“Got it,” Tuffnut said, getting to his feet along with his sister.
Jack blinked. “What?”
“You want us to keep an eye on Hiccup,” Ruffnut said. “Get the crystal back.”
“I didn’t-“ Jack stared at them. “You’d do that for me?”
The twins shared smug looks, before turning to Jack again. “You scratch our backs, we scratch yours,” Ruffnut said. “We want to know what kind of spooky stuff you’re getting up to, so…”
“If you think it’s so spooky, why do you want to know?” Jack grumbled.
“Consider us a blessing, Jackson Overland,” Tuffnut said, beginning to climb out the window.
“Just use the door,” Jack pleaded. “Nobody’s here anyway.” He watched the twins as they disappeared down the stairs, biting his tongue. Then he got out of bed and followed them. “Just try to seem normal,” he called after them. They turned around halfway to the door.
“Du-uh,” Ruffnut said.
“Hiccup can’t know,” Jack said. “Anything. Don’t ask him about the crystal, just… keep an eye out for it.”
This time, the look the twins shared was somewhat wary.
“Okay…” Tuffnut said slowly. “Don’t worry. We always act weird. Nothing will seem out of the ordinary.”
Jack hoped that was more reassuring than it sounded. He bit his lip as he watched the twins exit the hut, pretending his chest didn’t feel so heavy at the thought of sneaking behind Hiccup’s back.
That night, Jack’s dreams were filled with all kinds of nightmare scenarios. They shifted into each other seamlessly, but this time his brain didn’t do such a good job at scrambling them enough. They were nonsensical still, but not nonsensical enough for Jack to just drift along with them. No, tonight they were in a horrible dreamlike kind of high definition.
He was by the lake with Emily, but instead of going through the ice himself, he was the one who remained. He watched Pitch shoot an arrow into Sandy’s back, but this time, his dream-self just knew there was no way to bring him back. He saw the waves of Pitch’s nightmare sand rush towards them from every direction, and as Jamie stepped forward and held out his hand, he already knew how the nightmare would deviate from reality.
He sat on the bed with Jamie and told him what he hadn’t told him earlier. How their time on Berk paralleled the time in their present, how Jamie had disappeared in the woods and his family had been looking for him for a month. Jamie’s eyes were wide with panic, tears welling up in his eyes. It wasn’t the first time Jack had dreamed about Jamie looking at him with this expression: Disappointment, fear and betrayal, like he was realizing that Jack couldn’t help him anymore, and that perhaps he had caused more damage than his help could make up for.
And then Jack was in a white forest. The Snow Queen stood over him, her hand on Jack’s cheek. Pain spread from where her fingers brushed against his skin, spreading and stabbing through his body like ice stalactites. The feeling grew until snow filled his vision, until everything went white, until all that was left was empty and frozen.
Jack woke up shivering. His breath was shallow, and his throat ached whenever he inhaled. Had he been screaming in his sleep or somethingIf so, it seemed the house was either empty or the others were ignoring him. He tried taking deep breaths, tried getting his body to stop shaking, and listened for any signs of life downstairs.
A faint snoring caught his ears. Jack pushed himself up and looked around. Sunlight was no longer shining in through the window. Instead, there was another kind of light. Paler, and frankly not very welcome at the moment.
Jack looked up at the Moon, perfectly framed in the window, almost like it had waited for him to wake up and see it. Strange how so many people would find the sight beautiful, when Jack – especially after waking up from a dream like that – only felt contempt. He let out a shuddering sigh and buried his face in his hands, blocking the moonlight from view.
Minutes passed as he waited for his heart to calm down. The fire must’ve died downstairs, because the house was freezing, and Jack’s body wouldn’t stop shaking no matter how tightly he wrapped the blanket around himself. His head was pounding too. It didn’t take long before he came to the conclusion he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep anytime soon.
He swung his legs out of bed. Sitting still in the moonlight wouldn’t do him any good either. Besides, he’d obviously slept for many hours already, and that after sleeping for four days straight too. There was no way a human could stay unconscious for that long. Maybe moving a little would make his body heat up too.
Making as little noise as possible, he ventured down the stairs. Toothless was lying by the hearth, in which embers still glowed faintly. Hiccup lay sprawled halfway on top of him, and beside them was Jamie, curled up in a ball underneath a furry blanket. Stoick’s snoring from the other room was enough to drown out Jack’s footsteps as he silently walked over to them.
He crouched down beside Jamie, squinting to see if he really was asleep. On Jamie’s head, halfway covered by the blanket, was Baby Tooth, also sleeping. It was worrisome, the fact that she needed to sleep at all, but at least she was alive, and she still had her powers. He could only hope her strength would eventually return.
Proof that Jamie was asleep came in the form of an indistinct mumble. Jack didn’t quite catch what he’d said, but it sounded a little like Sophie fell again. Jack held back a chuckle, resisting the urge to reach out and brush some hairs away from Jamie’s face. He needed a haircut. Which probably meant Jack needed one as well.
The thought made a surprising wave of nausea well up in his chest. He hadn’t had a haircut in 300 years. Not that he couldn’t remember any especially traumatic haircutting experiences, but just the fact that his hair was growing again made his skin crawl.
He got to his feet, swallowing heavily. Some air would be good, probably.
A floorboard creaked as he got to the door, making him cringe. The snoring didn’t stop, thankfully – waking Stoick would be a worst-case scenario in this situation – but he remained frozen for a few seconds just to be sure. When nothing happened, he carefully slipped out the door.
It was even chillier outside, much to Jack’s frustration. He was even wearing his heavy, inconvenient boots, seemingly for no reason since he was still freezing. He wrapped his cloak around himself and headed towards the village. He wasn’t too worried about being spotted by anyone this time. Mostly because he didn’t have any stolen teeth on his person anymore, but also because the villagers had gotten a bit more used to seeing him around now.
Surprisingly, his trek led him down to the docks. Someone was undoubtably keeping watch over the area, but the docks themselves were dark and empty. Waves lapped gently against the ships, the wood creaking ever so slightly as they rocked back and forth. Moonlight glittered on the ocean, and Jack found himself glowering at it as he walked to the end of a pier.
“Making yourself look really pretty tonight, aren’t you?” he grumbled. His voice was hoarser than he expected it to be. He sighed. “Doesn’t get any better than this…”
He stopped at the edge of the pier, looking up at the sky. A wry smile spread on his face.
“Don’t know why I’m talking to you, to be honest,” he continued. His hand twitched restlessly; he hadn’t brought his staff with him, in an attempt to seem more anonymous to the other villagers, but now he was starting to regret it. “I mean, it’s not like I’m invisible anymore. I’ve got people to talk to. Which should be a good thing, but…”
He trailed off, looking down at his feet. His head was spinning slightly.
“…It is a good thing,” Jack muttered. “Some of it, at least. But-“ He looked up at the Moon again. “-that is of no thanks to you, of course. You’re just… hanging up there. Watching. Picking and choosing, as you do… every now and then.” He huffed softly, shaking his head. “Is it funIs that why you do itI guess I of all people should understand then, but somehow I am not finding it easy.”
The Moon remained silent. Nothing new there, but Jack let out a hoarse laugh.
“What am I doing?” he mumbled, dragging a hand over his face. “You’re not gonna answer. You never answer. Maybe you’re not even listening.” He looked up again. “Maybe you’re not even a thing yet. You could just be a big, lifeless orb in the sky, and I’d be none the wiser! Nothing would be different.” He scoffed. “And maybe I’m just used to living with this… this uncertainty and hopelessness and fear that I can’t shake the feeling that you’re still up there, just… observing like I’m some kind of…”
He gritted his teeth, attempting to swallow down the frustration building in his gut. So much for thinking some fresh air would help him relax. He wasn’t entirely sure where this anger was coming from either. Or rather, he knew why he was angry – it was the same reason he had always been angry, and now with the whole getting thrown back in time and losing his powers-thing to top it all off –? he just didn’t know why it was coming out now.
Waking up from those terrible dreams with the Moon shining so obnoxiously through the window was probably a factor. It was almost like it had deliberately roused Jack from his sleep, only to silently nudge him like, oh hey, you’d almost forgotten about me, hadn’t youDon’t forget that no matter how miserable you are right now, it’ll never be worse than the life I made you live for 300 years!
Jack had tried to speak to the Moon almost immediately after arriving in Berk. He’d got no answer then, and he’d get no answer now. The Moon probably had nothing to do with this at all, anyway. It was all the time fragment’s doing, which wouldn’t have happened if Jack had just kept his curiosity in check… or at the very least asked Jamie to wait outside the cave when Jack went to look for the crystal.
Thinking about Jamie only made the conversation from earlier replay in his head, which gave Jack’s nausea a new burst of inspiration. He pressed a hand to his mouth, crouching down as the spinning of his head increased. Something was building up in his stomach. Jack hadn’t vomited in over three centuries; he wasn’t going to start again now.
He sat still for a full minute before he trusted his body enough to let his hand fall. All that came out of him was a shaky breath.
“…All I’m asking is,” he muttered wretchedly, “is that if you’re there, and if you have any power whatsoever to help… You’ve ignored me all this time, but Jamie has no part in this. He shouldn’t be here. He… He deserves to go back. He was the one who helped you in the end, last Easter. The least you could do is…”
He trailed off again, realizing his choice of words only echoed the same one-sided conversation he’d led for 300 years. The least you could do is send a sign. The least you could do is give me a companion. The least you could do is tell me why.
He lifted his gaze to the Moon, glowering through the haziness in his vision. He was about to suggest the Moon do something a glowing orb in the sky couldn’t possibly physically do, but he never got that far.
“What are you doing here?”
Jack jumped to his feet so suddenly he almost toppled into the water. He managed to steady himself, but his heart still beat frantically in his chest at the thought of falling in.
Hiccup stood a few meters away, with the face of someone who’d just witnessed a person getting loudmouthed at seemingly thin air. Jack tried getting himself to relax, with little success; he’d spooked himself too much by loosing his balance near the water, and then there was the fact that he was shivering so much his shoulders were up to his ears.
“You scared me,” Jack said, avoiding the question.
“Sorry,” Hiccup said, taking a few tentative steps closer. “Jack, you’re freezing. You can’t just go out in the middle of the night.”
Jack plastered a smile on his face to battle the buzzing in his chest. “It’s not that cold,” he lied. “I just… needed some air.”
Hiccup didn’t seem convinced, even if that was truthfully the initial reason Jack had gone down here. He seemed hesitant to come closer, like he was afraid Jack would attack him, or maybe jump into the water. Both scenarios were almost ridiculous enough to make Jack laugh.
“Who were you talking to?”
“No one,” Jack said, sending the Moon a glower. “Obviously.”
“Didn’t sound like no one,” Hiccup said, trying for a smile but it looked too strained to be real. “Jack, if you… if there’s something on your mind, you don’t have to go down here and yell at the stars.”
“The stars,” Jack repeated with a short chuckle. Then he pressed his lips together and looked away, feeling guilty for rejecting Hiccup’s kindness just like that. “It’s… something that I can’t… I can’t talk to anyone about it.”
Hiccup’s face fell. “You… You mentioned Jamie,” he said, taking a few steps closer. In return, Jack felt the need to take a few steps away, only he couldn’t, lest he wanted to try walking on water.
“How much did you hear?” Jack asked uneasily. He couldn’t even recall if he’d been speaking in English or Norse.
“Uh… Not much, considering I don’t speak your language,” Hiccup said, making Jack breathe a sigh of relief. “But I heard Jamie, and… anger isn’t a difficult emotion to recognize. Or…” He didn’t finish the sentence, like he was afraid to voice the name of the other emotion Jack had been showing. Thankfully, he decided not to. “Are you sure you can’t try to explainMaybe I can help?”
Jack pursed his lips, shaking his head a little. “Sure you don’t want to eavesdrop a little more to really get the message?” he asked, and then immediately regretted it at the sight of Hiccup’s dejected expression.
“Jack…”
“I’m sorry.” Jack looked down at his shoes again. He wished he had his staff. He felt awfully vulnerable without it. “I’m sorry, but you can’t help. And I can’t explain. And you’re probably tired of this… of having to deal with my…” He gestured vaguely at himself. “Believe me, I don’t like it any more than you do.”
Hiccup came closer. Jack took half a step back.
“Why can’t you explain, then?” Hiccup asked, and though his voice was still gentle, as if he was talking to a cornered animal, frustration started sneaking into his words.
“Just- because!” Jack said, throwing up his hands. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“I understood you last time,” Hiccup argued. “When we talked by the cliff.”
Jack smiled faintly. “Did you?” he said quietly.
Hiccup huffed. “Didn’t I?”
“I don’t…” Jack shook his head, finding it harder and harder to look up as Hiccup came closer. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried fruitlessly to hold back a shudder. “It doesn’t matter. I’m- I- I just needed some air, that’s all. And to yell at something consistently unresponsive.” He smiled stiffly, managing to glance briefly at Hiccup. It was a mistake; his expression was so kind and searching and everything it shouldn’t be. It made rejecting his offer to help a million times harder. Jack looked away again. “It’s better like that, sometimes… isn’t it?”
It didn’t sound convincing, even to himself.
“It’s not,” Hiccup said. “Why are you saying that?”
Jack opened his mouth to answer but couldn’t make a sound. He shook his head.
Hiccup came ever so slightly closer.
“I heard you… e- earlier,” he said, his nervous tone making Jack look up at him again. “When you were talking to Jamie. I swear, I didn’t mean to listen, but the… the walls aren’t very thick.” He hesitated. “Jamie…”
Jack closed his eyes. He felt the need to press his hand against his mouth again but forced his arms to stay at his sides. “He was…” he started, but his voice didn’t quite come out the way he wanted it to. He cleared his throat. “There was a- a misunderstanding. I didn’t realize he was… he was h- hurting. Or, I knew he was hurting, but not…” He let out a bitter laugh. “I should’ve noticed. I should’ve… but I didn’t.”
“Is that what this is about?” Hiccup asked gently.
“That’s just a part of it, Hiccup,” Jack said, his words coming out harsher than he’d intended. “But everything else… I can’t just say a few kind words to make it better. I can’t make… any… anything better.”
“Jack…”
“And I can’t explain why. It’s like-“ He looked up at the Moon, shaking his head incredulously. “It’s like even if I have all these people surrounding me, they’re just there, just out of reach. And that’s just a whole new kind of torment, isn’t it?”
“What are you talking about?” Hiccup asked, making Jack’s eyes snap back to him. His brows were furrowed, which would’ve made him look angry if he hadn’t looked so awfully concerned as well. “Jack, we’re not out of your reach. Everyone’s been reaching out to you all day, haven’t they?”
Jack wanted to argue but knew he couldn’t explain it to Hiccup anyway. He nodded. “Yeah… sorry.”
“Jack.” Hiccup definitely sounded exasperated now. He took another step closer. There was no more than a meter between them. “Okay, if- if you really feel like you can’t tell me what’s the matter, for whatever reason that is, you- you don’t have to, but… I want to- we want to help you.” He gestured helplessly, looking around as if searching for the right words hanging in the air. “Because I can’t just stand around and watch you be in this much pain.”
Jack stared incredulously at him. “I’m not in pain,” he said weakly.
Hiccup sent him a look that was almost a glower. “Jack,” he said. “You’re crying.”
“I’m not-“ He was, and the realization made him take a step back in surprise. Gravity took a hold of him as he tipped over the edge of the pier. But he didn’t fall in; Hiccup grabbed him and pulled him back before he even got close to the water, and Jack stumbled, grabbing onto his shoulders to steady himself.
And then he couldn’t move. Now that Hiccup had brought it to light, he felt the chilliness on his cheeks. Maybe the tears would freeze there, as they had had a tendency to do when he was still Jack Frost. Not many people knew that. Mostly because not many people knew Jack Frost at all. The only person he’d cried in front of as Jack Frost was North, after Sandy’s memorial.
Hiccup’s hold loosened slightly around Jack’s arms, but Jack couldn’t make himself move away. He brought a hand to his face, pressing it tightly against his mouth. Something was growing in his gut again, but it wasn’t nausea. It was a sob, and the hand clamped over his mouth did nothing to stop it.
Hiccup sighed and pulled Jack into a tight embrace. “Gods,” he muttered. “You’re burning up, Jack.”
He got another sob in reply. And then another one, and another, until Hiccup carefully maneuvered them down to their knees. Jack couldn’t make himself look up at him, and just leaned into the embrace like his life depended on it. It took a long time before he regained the ability to use words, and by then his throat felt like razorblades and his voice was reminiscent of an old, sick cat.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, and couldn’t help but realize that he was echoing Jamie. He tried for a laugh, but it came out so hoarse it sounded more like a wheeze. “This doesn’t usually happen.”
Hiccup chuckled softly. His hand rubbed circles on Jack’s back. “I’m sure it doesn’t,” he said, “knowing you.”
Jack sniffled. “Knowing me?” he repeated. “You don’t.”
“I know part of you,” Hiccup countered. “That’s gotta count for something, don’t you think?”
Jack supposed he did. He smiled faintly. “Do you still think I’m crazy?”
“I already said I didn’t,” Hiccup said, patting the back of Jack’s head in a weak imitation of a smack. “I know that, at least. And… I know you’re reckless and… a little foolhardy, but neither of those are traits I – as a member of the Hairy Hooligan Tribe – can judge you for. And I know you’re good with children. I know you have a borderline magical ability to cheer people up… even the grumpiest of Vikings, like my dad. Must run in the family.”
Jack held back a laugh, if only to spare himself the pain in his throat.
“I know you’re full of secrets and mysteries,” Hiccup continued. “Not what they are, but… that doesn’t matter right now.” He ran a hand through Jack’s hair. His breath seemed to quiver ever so slightly when he sighed. “And… I know you have a big heart. Good intentions. And a tendency to relegate your own feelings.”
“Jamie and I are here because of me.”
Hiccup’s hand faltered. “What?”
Jack held his breath for a few seconds before he slowly pulled away from Hiccup’s embrace. Immediately, he felt colder, but he did his best to hide it. “I… It’s my fault,” he admitted in a whisper. “That’s what’s wrong. And Jamie… He looks at me like I’m invincible. But now he’s… slowly realizing that that’s not true.” He wiped away the tears on his cheek, but it was a losing battle.
“What do you mean, it’s your fault?” Hiccup asked. “You said-“
“I lied,” Jack said, meeting his eyes. “Or… not entirely, but… I don’t have amnesia. But what I said about not knowing this place, and not knowing our way back home – that part is true. I just can’t tell you the whole truth.”
“Jack-“
“I don’t enjoy lying,” Jack said. “But I needed to stay on the safe side.”
Hiccup looked more confused than ever. “You mean… you remember everything?” he asked. “How you got here?”
Jack nodded.
“How… How is it your fault?”
“Hiccup.” Jack forced himself to hold his gaze. The colors in Hiccup’s face seemed slightly different in the moonlight. Less saturated. But his freckles were still easy to see, and his eyes were still undeniably green. Jack found himself moving his hand up, but stopped himself when he realized what he was doing; his fingers hovered beside Hiccup’s cheek.
If he touched him now, his hand wouldn’t pass through. Jack had known that for a while now, but at this moment, it was as if he realized it for the first time again.
He let his hand fall.
“Do you trust me?” he asked.
Hiccup’s lips had parted a little in surprise, but he closed them again at the question. He answered it with a small nod. Jack smiled, almost apologetically.
“Then trust that I have a reason for not telling you everything,” he said. “Please.”
Hiccup’s lips seemed to change their mind, parting again as if he was going to answer, but no words came out the first few seconds. Then he nodded again.
“Okay,” he said. “I trust you.”
It felt unfair for both parties. Jack swallowed heavily and nodded back. He wanted to say something more, but his throat was beginning to tighten again. He’d already cried enough for one night. Or year. Or century.
“But seriously,” Hiccup said. “You have a fever. We really shouldn’t be sitting here by the ocean.”
Jack managed a smile. “Not sure what pulled me out here,” he said. “Perfect yelling-at-the-Moon spot, I guess.”
Hiccup helped them both to their feet. “Yelling at the moon?” he repeated. “And that’s something that works out for you usually?”
“Never,” Jack snorted, then winced. “My head feels like it’s going to explode.”
Hiccup studied him. Whatever he was thinking about, his expression wasn’t revealing anything. However, he shifted his weight awkwardly, and Jack couldn’t help being reminded of all the times he, Jack, had been hesitant to bring his arms around Jamie whenever he was in need of comfort. “Let’s hurry back. You’re shaking,” he said.
“I’m aware,” Jack muttered, trying to stop his teeth from clattering. “Don’t suppose you can get Toothless to efficiently reignite the hearth when we get back?”
Hiccup hesitated. “If we want to wake the whole house, then yes,” he said.
Jack grimaced. “Point taken.” He glanced at him, before looking ahead again as they started climbing the ramp. “Do you want to… I mean, could you sleep beside me again?” Even if he’d asked for that before, it somehow felt awkward now, after the moment they’d just shared. A part of Jack wondered if Hiccup would even feel comfortable with that now that he’d seen this other side of him… and now that he knew Jack had been lying to them.
But Hiccup just smiled at him and nodded. “It’s almost tradition now, isn’t it?” he asked with a sheepish laugh.
Jack’s lips were chapped. He thought they might crack if he smiled to broadly, but it wasn’t something he could control. He nodded. “Not a bad tradition, in my opinion,” he said.
“Good,” Hiccup said. If it hadn’t been so dark, Jack thought he might’ve seen that pinkish hue in his cheeks again. “That makes two of us.”
They walked back to the Haddock House together, and at least for the little time being, Jack could let himself forget about the moonlight shining at them from behind.